Saturday, January 28, 2012

Being Mindfully Sexual: Beginnings

My name is Mr. Dryden and I live in California.

I have been in a relationship for many years (let's say over 9ish) and I have finally come to the realization that I am a sexual exploratory person, and my partner is not.

Through much contemplation, meditation, and self examination I have decided to embark on a journey into the unknown world of seeking pleasure outside of my relationship.

I love my spouse very much, she means the world to me.  I have tried to bring create a healthy atmosphere for the evolution of our lovemaking, but unfortunately my partner isn't as interested.  We do have sex.  Plenty of run of the mill, boring, everyday sex.  Sometimes it's great, other times she's doing it just for me, but something is just missing. I want more exploration.

I have discussed this with her for years (yes, as every sex psychologist out there tells us to do) and for some reason things just don't click with her.  It's just not the person she is, and I've decided it's unfair for me try to make her someone she is not.  I no longer blame her, or hold resentful feelings in the bedroom, for I know this will only further deteriorate our relationship.   I take full responsibilty for the joy I seek, and the expansion of my sexual self.

I do love her, and would do anything for her.  She's my best friend.

And this is where I find myself, currently seeking the most looked down upon of actions within our society.  Infidelity.

My goal in writing this blog is to inform, and exploit my adventures and thoughts into this vast unknown.  Maybe you'll relate, and maybe you won't.  This in the end is for me, and for some reason writing it all down makes me understand myself better.

I also think we as society need to look at the pressures we put on sexual selves.  We try to conform, and miss out on so much life has to offer.  There is a revolution at hand in the world of relationships, marriage, and sex.  We can continue to ignore the fact that over half of people in monogamous relationships cheat - or - we can examine why this is, and perhaps look at it from another perspective.

It we were more open about this side of our humanity, many less tears would be shed, and more importantly we'd all have a lot more fun.

Monogamy isn't a bad idea.  It works for some, it doesn't for others.  But that split is generally around 50%.  Nature engineered us to explore our sexual selves.  Religion and culture have slowly trained this out of us.  It's time to open up.  Feel the joy, and experience fresh air.

One thing I've learned about life is that it always works out.  Always.  And this universe is a positive, loving place. 

So let's explore it - and each other - together.

Respectfully Yours,
- Mr. Dryden


  1. Ah, Mr. D, you are engaging and I like the honesty to your approach in your new explorations. A fresh perspective can be such a wonderful pathway to learn something new.

  2. Thank you for reading AE, and for finding me! Hope I can continue to be honest and truthful throughout this process, and share my innermost thoughts and feelings with everyone.